5 Ways to NOT be Awesome

I have it figured out everyone! Hip Hip Hooray for Maya!

After weeks of avoiding my blog like the plague and contemplating themes, I have finally figured it out. I’ve decided that I can commit to rambling/pontificating/talking about one topic in five points. Nothing more, nothing less. My professor advised me to keep things short and sweet. And I advised myself to be consistent. I could easily have that word and that word alone on my gravestone. CONSISTENT. Anyway, I’m happy to have made a commitment. Yay me!

And to my 11 readers: Please hold me accountable. If I don’t keep the posts coming, feel free to verbally attack me. I’m ready for the motivation and what better way to embarrass me publicly than in my own sandbox?

Here goes nothing…

After spending years at a private institution with a limited number of computers and lab space, I have grown seriously bitter towards a certain type of student. I thought my worries were over when I began my time at a public institution with a bajillion computers. I was wrong. It is as if this student lurks in the dusty shadows and corners of every college campus waiting to get on my damn nerves!

This first FIVE post is to you. Stop annoying people. Stop breathing my air. Get a laptop before I pummel you. Please.

Five things to NOT do in the computer lab on campus

5. Assume that we all want to hear your music.
The computer lab is as sacred as the library and on most campuses, it’s the same place. Of course everyone needs motivation to get their work done but I’d really appreciate it if you kept your motivation between your ears. K thanks.

4. Have an unofficial group study session
I know that most colleges have group study space. I just know they do. So how come Bobby, Cynthia, Keri and Gerald think its fair to talk about how tough the assignment was or how confused they were when putting it all together? I don’t care if you guys pass or fail. Actually, I don’t care about you period and I want you to be quiet. K thanks.

3. Ask fellow classmates about the project that’s due in an hour
This one is especially tender to my heart…When I’m under immense pressure to finish an assignment that’s due in like an hour, why in the world would I want to talk to YOU? What I want is to finish my assignment. What I really want is not to hear about your anxieties and questions that make me nervous about my own damn work. I really, really want for you not to sit next to me and try to get pointers in a roundabout way. Go sit somewhere else and let me panic in peace. K thanks.

2. Eat sloppy snacks.
Gross. Especially when you get up and leave cheese puff dust all over the keyboard or crumbs everywhere. In my hood voice, you nasty.

1. Purr/Hum/Sing at the computer
Imagine that you’re in a place with fifty other people. These 50 people have a shared goal. They all want to get work done and go home. Many of them are easily distracted. When you make noise, it bothers them. Now come back to reality. STOP being weird and ruining my work environment. Maybe this only happens at public universities because I never had to watch a grown man purr at a monitor at my last school. And although it was, hands down, the funniest thing I’ve seen all day…I don’t wana see that mess again.

Until next time…
Little Chocolate Woman

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