5 Things to NOT do with an Ex

New hot bod!

My close circle (and some extended folks that matter) know that I got out of a semi-serious relationship a few months back. The whole scene was tragic and vividly dramatic—mostly on my part. I fell into this deep, dark, stank ass place that I didn’t think I could get myself out of. I had people coaching me from every angle…friends, bloggers and the Man upstairs.

I mean, it was dark yall! I can’t even scratch the surface of how bad things were—or so I thought!

You see, I thought the physical world was crumbling beneath my feet. I thought that without this person, I couldn’t go on. I thought I would never be happy again. Even worse, I felt the same damn way the LAST time I broke up with someone. I felt the same epic sadness multiplied times a bajillion.

So this time, I put my energy into positive things. I lost the obnoxious-untruth-‘happy weight’ that wasn’t so damn happy after the break up. 26 pounds to be exact.

If you noticed, thank you verrrrry much.

While I was busy tweeting, blogging (kinda), working out, eating better (not quite right) and knitting (yup, granny all day!)—I had an epiphany. Actually I had several of them over the course of the few months. Realized that in order for me to be ready for the right person to come along, I gotta rid myself of the WRONG person; no matter how hard, sad or troubling it may be. These are just some of the things I learned…the hard way.

DON’T:

5. Let them leave stuff at your house
Nope. Take your socks, shoes, random notebook and rusty tee shirt somewhere else. I don’t wanna open my closet and be reminded of you every day. For every article I hold onto is an excuse for me to see your face—no thanks. K bye.

4. Cyber-stalk them
There are literally a million and one things to do while surfing the net. Don’t waste time mulling on your old lover’s Facebook profile or tweets. Read mine J

3. Have text message wars
If you’re not gangster (lol, er) enough to say it in person, don’t say it at all. My English teacher in high school (s/o to Mrs. Cindy Martin) taught me a LOT of things and one of the few things I actually remember is that you need to be able to defend EVERY word you put on the paper. So if you don’t mean any of that mess you talkin’, don’t type it.

2. Give in to temptation
Oh, my favorite! When you decide to finally leave someone alone, they will find a way to crawl back into the picture. If you’re used to late-night cuddle/cutty sessions with them, its gonna be like telling a 1 year old to lose the binky. You’ll have to go to drastic measures to fight it but it is worth every measure.

1. Pretend like you’re over them
The average person will probably have at least 10 boyfriends/girlfriends in their lifetime. No real stats to back that up, just an educated guess and I have friends who have quadrupled this number so I’m being modest here. Anyway, I found that getting over a person means you have to get over them. Physically, emotionally, spiritually and psychologically. If you pretend that this transformation happened, you will be RIGHT back in that dark place when the next person say bye to you!

So yea, I hate to admit it but I’m one of those women who is on a voyage with herself. Scratch that. I LOVE that I’m discovering my own damn happiness. It’s weird because I never knew that you really have to give up something ‘good’ for something GREAT to come in!

C’est vrai!

Until next time…
Little Chocolate Woman